Let's Talk About
by SilverWolf7
Summary: 9th story in Gabriel's Recovery series. Gabriel dreams sex with Rowena, but is interrupted by Asmodeus. Rowena calms him down from the nightmare once he wakes up.


Trigger warnings for this one. Rape/Non-Con and vomiting. Also, a bit of sexual content outside that. 9th story in Gabriel's recovery series. Gabriel/Rowena dream sex, Asmodeus/Gabriel rape/non-con and implied Lucifer/Rowena rape/non-con. Yeah, this one is not a nice one. I'm kind of nervous actually posting this one.

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Let's Talk About...

Gabriel had been lying in bed with his eyes closed for what felt like hours.

For the past few minutes, his mind kept on replaying his little sexual adventure with Rowena and he was finding it hard to concentrate on much else other than sex. Which was awkward for him, because he wasn't used to feeling lust like a human was.

Sex to him was a fun activity to do when he felt like it. It didn't generally come with the pull, the need to have sex that most humans had. So to feel it now, to be aware that he wasn't even completely certain he was ready for sex but feeling like he needed it, was slowly going to drive him mad.

He thought about reaching down and taking himself in hand, because he was definitely ready physically, but... Rowena was right next door. She was next door and was just as unsure about sex as he was.

Maybe...maybe they could do this together, like the exploration he had gone through with her in the library that one time.

It had now been over a week, and it had been their one and only time together. Sure, they had flirted with each other and there was the occasional kiss they shared, but mainly they just talked.

And he found that weird. He thought he would be going to Rowena for comfort in all senses of the word, but he wasn't. He went to her for emotional comfort and to talk about shitty things, but never too deeply.

When it came to the more physical comfort aspect, he tended to gravitate more towards Sam, because Sam was the best at hugs and there was so much of the moose that he could lean against him comfortably.

But what did that say about whatever it is he had going on with Rowena, who he was thinking of right now in a very sexual way? Isn't sex physical? It always had been to him. Something to make both or more parties feel good and satisfied.

He had no idea if he could even satisfy himself with his hand, let alone Rowena in a sexual manner. Hell, last time they got together, he had barely been touched before the Winchester boys had stopped their fun, while he had managed to give her three orgasms with hand and mouth.

He rolled onto his side, with a loud sigh and decided that he may as well give this a try, because he wouldn't get any good sleep otherwise. So, getting up, he made his way to the door. He was as quiet as he could be as he opened it up and crept to the room next to his on the right side. He really didn't want to wake anyone up, with the exception of Rowena.

He gave a quick knock on her door, before opening it and going in. Rowena was blinking at him from her position on her bed. She hadn't even gone to sleep yet by the looks of it, curled up in bed with her bedside lamp on, reading a thick tome on...was that Scandinavian spell work?

He smiled in what he hoped was a sexy way, but was pretty sure it came off as awkward and unsure.

"Hello, Big Bird. And what do I owe this visit?" she asked, as her gaze went down to stare at the obvious tent in his pants.

"Umm, I just thought...well, we could maybe try again? Now. We're both up and , well. Umm," Gabriel stuttered out, his ability with words failing him during this quite new experience for him.

She smiled at him though, her tongue flicking out to wet her lips. "Oh, are you going to do me first with that clever mouth of yours? I remember liking that very much. Same rules applying?"

He let out a groan and walked towards her. "Sure, same rules. No penetration, no touching of the boobs. I remember."

Rowena bookmarked her place with the ribbon the tome supplied, before putting it down and reaching out with both hands for him. And he eagerly went to her, greeting her with a kiss and a hand trailing down her belly to stop at where her pyjama bottoms were in the way.

Slowly, he pulled them down far enough to reach her with his fingers. He didn't remember her being quite this wet last time, but it did help things along as he quickly worked in one, followed by another finger.

She let out a happy little sigh and worked her pants down further so she could spread her legs a bit more.

Something pinged in him as not right with the scenario, but his sex obsessed mind couldn't quite figure it out. So, he ignored the little niggling feeling and brought her to a gasping, hand over mouth orgasm. He eased his fingers out and, to his surprise she stopped him from going in with his tongue like she had originally asked for.

"I changed my mind, Big Bird. I want you fully," she gasped out, her long lashes fluttering over her eyes, as she reached towards his pants.

He let out a low moan of expected pleasure and dropped his clothing on the floor as soon as he possibly could the slow human way, before he was on her. She was soon gloriously naked in front of him and he ignored the thought that this was all wrong as he grabbed her breasts and squeezed gently, making her arch up into his touch and moan loudly.

He wasn't as gentle as he could have been as he lined himself up and entered her. Pleasure was flooding him and he felt like he could finally just let go. 7 years without feeling anything at all good, of teasing, of being ... well, he didn't want to think of that at all while having Rowena in his arms, their bodies joined together and hopefully satisfying this urge.

No wonder humans were so obsessed with sex.

He didn't even feel bad that he was doing this for himself any longer. It was just one big race to the finish line which had been denied to him for so damn long.

Just before he reached the point where there was no stopping the orgasm that he was fast approaching, a hand clamped down on his shoulder and he was forcefully pulled off of his lover.

He let out a loud squeak of surprise, thinking maybe Dean had come bursting in without him hearing, ready to tell him off for making a racket in the middle of the night and waking everyone up.

He turned and froze. Asmodeus was standing there, clamping down harder on his arm and pushing him to his knees.

"No, you're dead! I killed you!" he said loudly, struggling to get out of that too strong grip.

"Aww, did you really think you could destroy me so easy, boy? I don't think so."

With that said, he watching in growing horror as the demon prince unbuckled his pants and pulled out a large, ready erection.

"It's been quite a while since you and I were acquainted with each other. And I've never had the pleasure of using that mouth of yours. It was a bit unavailable at the time."

Gabriel tried to shake his head no, his mouth automatically closing to try and stop the act from happening. Asmodeus clamped his other hand under his jaw and forced his mouth open.

"Now, now, be a good boy and open up for your master. And no biting."

With that, his mouth was stretched open in the worst possible way without him wanting it to be and he couldn't breathe. The head of the penis hitting the back of his throat made him struggle and gag for air, but none was coming.

He was choking and he couldn't stop it. He needed to breathe, he needed to stop this, he needed to...

With a strangled gasp of air, Gabriel scrambled frantically at the sheets twisted around his body, fell off his bed and, with the phantom feel of Asmodeus shoved down his throat, vomited noisily all over the floor.

Panic flooded his body as he looked at the mess he had just made. Whining in his fear, he had to do something to hide the mess or he'd be severely punished. Asmodeus was not a gentle master to have if you were a slave under him. And he never wanted to be under him again.

Shaking, he did the one thing his mind would give him. He yanked at the duvet on the bed, until it fell to the ground with him and bundled it up, throwing it over the small pile of sick on the floor.

His room was still messy, and Asmodeus didn't like him being messy in any way. He whimpered to himself, wondering how to fix it.

A knock was heard on the door to his cell and he jerked up to stare at it, his mind blanking with fear. He couldn't see out of it, couldn't see who was there.

And then the door was opened and he squealed between his teeth, his mouth unable to open. Stitched, his mouth had been stitched very early on. He ran to the drawer he found on one side and hid behind it, hoping the demon wouldn't spot him.

"Big Bird? You okay? I heard a thud."

He made sure to not make a sound except for heavy breathing through his nose. His eyes were wide and he refused to blink until the danger had passed.

The good news was it wasn't Asmodeus. That didn't mean he wouldn't get in trouble. Instead a woman came in, long red hair and nice comfy looking pyjamas were on her. He blinked, confused.

She came towards him and he started shaking, because he didn't want to be in trouble. Being in trouble hurts.

"Oh, Gabriel. Hey, I won't hurt you, I promise. Come on out from there."

He shook his head and flatted himself as best he could in his horrifically bad hiding spot.

She sighed and nodded, walking closer until she was right next to him, before sliding down the wall to sit beside him. She didn't try to touch him, just sat there looking at him, as if waiting for something.

"You know, I didn't think I'd ever see you like this. I mean, I know you've gone through a lot and you've spoken of going through periods like this, but I've never seen it. Come on my golden bird, you can come out of it. I know you can."

He blinked at her, mind whirring inside his head. He was sure he knew this woman and she was good. Or, maybe not so much as good, as she wouldn't try hurting him.

Slowly, very slowly, he began to calm down as he wasn't punished. It was only when he had stopped shivering violently from his fear that he remembered that Asmodeus was dead. But wasn't the demon prince just...

"Oh, there you are. Come on, Gabriel. My sweet bird, you'll get fully here soon."

He blinked up at her and frowned. His mouth opened and he reached up to touch it. And he was suddenly well aware of where he was, who was beside him and what had happened.

It was a stupid nightmare. And that one hadn't even been based off of something that had happened. Not only had he been banned from sex, he had never been used for his mouth, because of the stitches.

Yet it had sent him back to living in cells, or a cage. Of being a slave to every whim Asmodeus wanted him for. To being punished for making a mess. His eyes went to the duvet and he winced.

"I threw up..." he stated. It was the first time that had ever happened and he hoped to never repeat the process ever again. He was only now aware of the burn in his throat being that of slight acidic damage, not from being penetrated. His nose felt the same way.

"It's okay. I've been sick after nightmares before too. It happens," Rowena stated. She shifted on the floor, her hands twitching in her lap. "I really want to hug you right now, but I don't know if you're up to being touched right now."

He shuddered and shook his head. "After that, hell no. Not right now, anyway. Shit, that was bad."

Rowena nodded and settled back into stillness. "That's okay. You want to tell me what it was about?"

He almost shook his head again, because he didn't want to relive it again so soon after waking up from the nightmare, but...he had gone to bed thinking of sex and wanting to talk to her about it. It was probably what triggered off the dream to begin with. The start of it anyway. That had been good at least.

"I...I was thinking of, you know, the time in the library. I was going to talk to you in the morning about it, actually. I fell asleep thinking of it and it just followed me into sleep."

Rowena nodded at him. "Oh yeah, I've had that happened too. Usually it ends good though."

He grimaced. "Not me, it started good but..."

"Why did it go bad?"

Gabriel sighed. He buried his head in his knees and wanted his hoodie to hide himself away in while he talked, but he was finding it hard to do much of anything. And he'd have to get up and rummage around the few clothes he had in the drawer he was against to find it and that meant getting up. He didn't know if his legs would hold up his weight.

"Asmodeus, he would...He refused me anything that felt good. He refused to let anyone else but him touch me. And he would...he would touch me, but...he would only go so far in it and stop and have his own fun with me and leave me and I would be so horrified by it. That he'd get me so worked up I'd just react to his touch like that. The dream...I went to you and we were having sex and... Before I could...he pulled me off you."

Rowena let out a disgusted sound and he winced and curled up into more of a ball than he already was. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."

She sighed and he could feel her shift by his side again. "I'm not upset with you and me having sex. I like the thought of us having sex. I don't like how he got so far in your head that your subconscious would stop you from going all the way."

He started shaking again. "He forced me on my knees, opened my mouth and just...he said that he never got the pleasure of using my mouth on him when I was with him and he just...he..."

He still couldn't say it out loud. His throat seemed to close up on the words of what Asmodeus did to him. He knew Rowena got it, but it still frustrated him to no end that he was unable to say it.

"I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was choking. And then I woke up and it was like I was still there."

Rowena let out a sound that she heard and understood that. "I sometimes wake up like that, with a lot more crispy me. Lucifer, he had his nasty way with me and then he showed me what he really looks like and burnt me to a crisp. Sometimes, I just have nightmares about his face. His real one, not the vessel."

Gabriel grimaced. "Yeah, Hell did a number on him. He is not pretty to look at. Which kind of sucks really, because once upon a time he was the pinnacle of angelic beauty. The Mark twisted his looks to more what he truly is on the inside and Hell finished that transformation."

Rowena shuddered next to him. "Well, I don't want to see any other angels true form, sorry."

He shook his head. "No offense taken. I am so used to this vessel sometimes I forget that me and the vessel used to be different entities separate from each other."

"What was his name?"

Gabriel grinned. "Jakob with a k. Sweet guy. He's not in here anymore. He left for Heaven a long time ago, once the rest of his family died. I don't know if it is just that most angels don't get humanity, but most treat their vessels like crap. I got on real well with Jakob, his wife and kids."

He was feeling a lot calmer now and could really use that hug, but he still didn't know what would happen if he was touched. He slowly let himself slide slowly towards Rowena, until his shoulder was leaning against hers. It didn't trigger anything in him. He relaxed and let his breath out in a rush. "Can I have that hug now?"

She turned sideways and wrapped her arms slowly around him and he settled himself against her.

Shit, now wasn't the time but they really did need to talk about sex sometime soon, sex that did not end up turning into a version of his nightmare.

He was now worried he'd never be able to enjoy sex ever again.


End file.
